The Ceremony
Reverend Mike Busa, Officiating
4:00pm
Thank you for coming to be with us today. My name is Mike Busa, nephew of the groom, and I will be officiating. I would like to begin with a moment of silence.
Thank you for coming to be with us today. My name is Mike Busa, nephew of the groom, and I will be officiating. I would like to begin with a moment of silence.
It was a dark and stormy night.
Not really. It was Mother’s Day 2003.
Before Rob and Ralph met each other, they had chatted online for years. That was back when “online dating” still raised a few eyebrows. Ralph always asked if they could meet, but Rob was very cautious and skeptical. He felt safe having an online friend.
Then through a turn of events, they each met someone who knew the other. An email was sent to them both saying that if they didn’t already know each other, that they definitely should meet. They did, and the rest, as they say, is history.
It was almost that fast, but it wasn’t quite that easy. We all know that traditional wisdom says that in a new relationship you should:
- Take it slow
- Don’t mix businessa & family in a new relationship
- And certainly don’t sign 20-year mortgages together!
But they didn’t pay attention to those rules. Rob talked of wanting to own a hot spring, and Ralph became a primary catalyst and equal partner beginning to realize that dream. Their passions in life overlapped, so common ground was easy. They began forming a relationship that survived the stress of building a family business together. Also during that time, Ralph was the anchor for his family through the death of his parents, and assuming responsibility for his brother, Gary. The transition from being the first grandchild to now being the “Papa” is an immense rite of passage, Through good times and bad, Ralph and Rob have known that their union is one that should be preserved and protected - as changes occur in themselves, their families, their professions, the economy - each of our grooms is better together, than individually. Their marriage today honors that union.
And then they lived happily ever after... Well, except for the complications of two middle-aged men who were single most of their lives learning to live in partnership with one another. From the beginning, those who loved them saw them as a couple. In many ways, it was the strength of that recognition from others that reflected back to them. Sometimes that reflection was their anchor when they struggled to see themselves as a couple.
Both Ralph and Rob came to the relationship with a CAST of CHARACTERS who became their combined support structure. Frio was the first to see that this new relationship was different. It was special. It was important.
Not really. It was Mother’s Day 2003.
Before Rob and Ralph met each other, they had chatted online for years. That was back when “online dating” still raised a few eyebrows. Ralph always asked if they could meet, but Rob was very cautious and skeptical. He felt safe having an online friend.
Then through a turn of events, they each met someone who knew the other. An email was sent to them both saying that if they didn’t already know each other, that they definitely should meet. They did, and the rest, as they say, is history.
It was almost that fast, but it wasn’t quite that easy. We all know that traditional wisdom says that in a new relationship you should:
- Take it slow
- Don’t mix businessa & family in a new relationship
- And certainly don’t sign 20-year mortgages together!
But they didn’t pay attention to those rules. Rob talked of wanting to own a hot spring, and Ralph became a primary catalyst and equal partner beginning to realize that dream. Their passions in life overlapped, so common ground was easy. They began forming a relationship that survived the stress of building a family business together. Also during that time, Ralph was the anchor for his family through the death of his parents, and assuming responsibility for his brother, Gary. The transition from being the first grandchild to now being the “Papa” is an immense rite of passage, Through good times and bad, Ralph and Rob have known that their union is one that should be preserved and protected - as changes occur in themselves, their families, their professions, the economy - each of our grooms is better together, than individually. Their marriage today honors that union.
And then they lived happily ever after... Well, except for the complications of two middle-aged men who were single most of their lives learning to live in partnership with one another. From the beginning, those who loved them saw them as a couple. In many ways, it was the strength of that recognition from others that reflected back to them. Sometimes that reflection was their anchor when they struggled to see themselves as a couple.
Both Ralph and Rob came to the relationship with a CAST of CHARACTERS who became their combined support structure. Frio was the first to see that this new relationship was different. It was special. It was important.
Frio and Ralph fell in love while he and Rob were still in the “courting” phase of getting to know each other.
Frio came into this family after being rescued from beside the road during a blizzard. His gratitude was eternal, but he suffered from car sickness for many years.
Once Ralph came into the picture, somehow Frio realized that if he could just get over the ride in the car, he could go to the farm with Ralph. It has often been said that Frio was the love that kept Rob and Ralph together while they were learning to love and be together.
Frio was the first to recognize them as a couple, and indeed, he lived happily ever after.
Frio came into this family after being rescued from beside the road during a blizzard. His gratitude was eternal, but he suffered from car sickness for many years.
Once Ralph came into the picture, somehow Frio realized that if he could just get over the ride in the car, he could go to the farm with Ralph. It has often been said that Frio was the love that kept Rob and Ralph together while they were learning to love and be together.
Frio was the first to recognize them as a couple, and indeed, he lived happily ever after.
Rob finally agreed to meet Ralph for the first time
during a rough patch with his best friend Chris. They were so very close, and together all the time. Even though Ralph took a big part of Rob’s heart by then, Rob still missed Chris very much, and grieved the gap in their friendship.
One morning Ralph said to Rob “I know you and your friend will come back together, and I hope when you do there is still room in your life for me”. They did … and there was!
during a rough patch with his best friend Chris. They were so very close, and together all the time. Even though Ralph took a big part of Rob’s heart by then, Rob still missed Chris very much, and grieved the gap in their friendship.
One morning Ralph said to Rob “I know you and your friend will come back together, and I hope when you do there is still room in your life for me”. They did … and there was!
But there were other “pre-existing conditions” in the cast that each of our grooms brought to the table. Rob and Connie made a life together for decades and had long depended on each other and become family. Theirs was a bond that lasted a lifetime. All Connie ever wanted was for Rob to be happy, to be cared for, and to know he was not alone. That is exactly what they shared for 33 years. She would be very proud of where we are today.
Is this right? My notes say "DON’T YOU MAKE ME GET UGLY" ??
Is this right? My notes say "DON’T YOU MAKE ME GET UGLY" ??
OK … so THEN they lived happily ever after. Well, except for more of the part about learning to live in partnership with each other. Those are the lessons that come in layers, and over time. That is how families are formed, and those bonds are forever.
Sometimes we need help along the lines of “Calling Doctor Bombay … Calling Doctor Bombay … Emergency … Come Right Away!”. That’s where these grooms had a secret weapon -- Irene Lane. Advisor, counselor, conscience, teacher, and friend. Always the rock they would reach for after a wipeout from a “bump in the road”.
Sometimes we need help along the lines of “Calling Doctor Bombay … Calling Doctor Bombay … Emergency … Come Right Away!”. That’s where these grooms had a secret weapon -- Irene Lane. Advisor, counselor, conscience, teacher, and friend. Always the rock they would reach for after a wipeout from a “bump in the road”.
In reality, each couple that enters into marriage must determine what “marriage” means to them. What are their “rights and responsibilities” to one another, to their family, and to their community? Which traditions from their past will they maintain and cherish going forward, and what new traditions will rise from the collective family here with us today? Being here today unites each of us in a special way - we are officially family now -- our common bond being these men that we love. Expressing our joy as they proclaim their lives to be one.
I present to you now our grooms, as they exchange their vows, and the rings held in trust today by their sisters.
[VOWS GO HERE]
By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts, it is now my tremendous honor to present to you
- Ralph and Rob
- “R & R”
- Husband and Husband
… to have and to hold … now and forever.
I now proclaim this day, as you begin your tenth year, to be the first day of the rest of your lives.
You may kiss the groom!
I present to you now our grooms, as they exchange their vows, and the rings held in trust today by their sisters.
[VOWS GO HERE]
By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts, it is now my tremendous honor to present to you
- Ralph and Rob
- “R & R”
- Husband and Husband
… to have and to hold … now and forever.
I now proclaim this day, as you begin your tenth year, to be the first day of the rest of your lives.
You may kiss the groom!